Everyone has at least one question inside of them, but sometimes the road to the answer can be a bumpy one. Maybe it’s highly personal or something you’re afraid to say out loud, or just a certain question you can’t get off your mind. Whatever it is, Lola the latte logo is here to lend a helping hand (that is, if she had any, of course). This week, she answers a question on how to deal with work feuds.

My co-worker (who is higher up than me) and I have become friends outside of the office, but recently we had a falling out because she had started talking to a guy I just broke up with. We still need to work together on a daily basis, but I’m not sure how to approach the situation. What should I do?

-Newsette reader from New York City

Office friendships can be tricky, especially when you’re just starting out. Work is a great place to meet pals, but make no mistake, having these relationships outside of the office can make things awkward inside of it later on. That’s what has happened here, clearly. Unfortunately, because she’s your superior (and I’m guessing you want to keep being a good employee), you have to treat your work and outside-of-work relationships totally differently (as hard as it can be). Even if you’re upset, or feel betrayed, you need to be polite and efficient at work. Not only does it make you the bigger person, but it can lessen the chance of your co-workers taking notice that something isn’t right between the two of you. And the last thing you want is to be at the center of a department-wide gossip fest. Trust me, your boss (and hers) wants you to keep your personal life outside of the workplace.

Besides being cordial during work hours, ask your friend to meet you after your 9-5. Pick a casual bar, or coffee shop. Tell her how you feel in a way that isn’t overly emotional. Something like: “I heard you started talking to my ex, and I wanted to let you know it makes me feel uncomfortable. I’m telling you this as a friend. Obviously, our personal lives would never get in the way of work. Whatever you do is your choice, but I just wanted to let you know how it made me feel.” Then, you never discuss it again. At the end of the day, she is an adult who can (and will) make her own decisions. Like you pointed out, you have to work together on a daily basis, so best to keep things friendly.