We’ve all heard the buzzwords, “self-care”, “wellness”, “zen” thrown around, and while it may take a clear shape for some, for others it’s still a broad and bold topic. For myself, the word zen didn’t really mean much, and felt very farfetched and unattainable. I thought I’d never feel it, let alone need it. I got a wake-up call about six years ago, which resulted in me taking a self-discovery journey into my own version of self-healing–and I am here to tell the tale.

The History

I began my career in Fashion PR some 11 years ago, and absolutely loved my job. I was extremely happy with long work days, lack of lunch breaks and close to no sleep, not deeming any of it a priority. During my limited free time, I started freelancing as a fashion writer, hence filling up even more of my precious me-time with work. This pattern lasted about five years before I got my rude awakening.   

The Reality

I remember sitting at the doctor’s office complaining of bloating, cramps, lightheadedness, fatigue, the list goes on, and the practitioner staring back at me, then looking to my date of birth in shock. “Ms. Datoo, you’re only 25 and a half, why are you so stressed and beaten?” I can still hear those words echoing in my ears while I sip on my homemade chai latte and write about it. You see, I ran myself into the ground and it was high time to hit pause and reset. I decided to leave my PR job, and make my health a priority. 

The Yoga

It was actually the advice my nutritionist gave me that rang louder than anything else: “You must find an outlet for relaxation and rest.” So off I went to research ways in which one could find r&r. The more I Googled, the more I realized the plethora of peace that existed. Having found spas, gyms and clubs, I decided to try my hand at yoga. After testing five to six various studios, and feeling a little like Goldilocks, I found a space that fit just right. It was real, raw and compassionate. The class was filled with a mixed bag of people all congregating in a school gym hall every week to practice the art of breathing, meditation, and hatha yoga, in unison. I couldn’t believe how a few classes helped me feel more grounded. My pace slowed down, and like clockwork, I would be on-time every week come hell or high water.

The Food

We’ve all heard the saying, “you are what you eat.” However, it should probably go, “you feel what you eat.” I came to the realization that wellness and good health is a balance between food, exercise, and sleep. If I was able to help calm my mind through Yoga, it made sense to turn to food to soothe my gut. I started off slow by eliminating refined sugar, bleached white flour, and cows milk and a few other inflammatory foods. After four weeks I noticed clearer skin and a semi-flat tummy, and after eight more weeks, I had clarity and energy. Sure, I would still feel tired here and there but it was more of an organic fatigue, like a sleepless-night-daze, as opposed to extreme high-low spikes. I also disciplined myself to carve out time for meals and to consciously eat without working or being distracted. Even if it was a mere 15 minutes, the art of mindful eating changed my outlook on food forever. This meshed with my breathing practice and meditation helped me create a clear boundary, and a healthy balance between work and life started to form.

The Rest

Ah, here we are, at the rest portion of my journey. This one folks was a tough one to master. You see, yoga and food felt more achievable as I knew breakfast, lunch, dinner and Thursday’s Hatha class would arrive like clockwork, and I would have to show up on time. But, rest and sleeping early felt like a hurdle I didn’t have the legs for. Nevertheless, I persisted and began with baby steps. I experimented with taking a bath to relax my body and mind before bed and tried to only take books or magazines into the tub rather than a screen of some sort. I then invested in a room diffuser which drenched the bedroom in a lavender scented mist, and would alternate between this or a candle. After a few weeks of finding what worked for me, I landed on my own little ritual which consisted of a 9:00 P.M. cut-off time, some Jo Malone bath oil, and a soothing playlist followed by reading in bed. I even laid out my outfit for the next day during this time, so I didn’t rush so much in the mornings. Fast forward a few years and this is still my favorite part of my day!
I now take extreme pride in cultivating a balanced lifestyle and believe that feeling zen can be achieved in small and big strokes. Some days it’s little things like lighting a candle while I get ready in the morning, or having a no-phone hour. Other days it’s seeing friends and taking quality time to eat a delicious meal. Whatever size fits you, do that. Experiment and try and enjoy the process. Finding your own version of zen isn’t selfish, it’s necessary.