Everyone has at least one question inside of them, but sometimes the road to the answer can be a bumpy one. Maybe it’s highly personal or something you’re afraid to say out loud, or just a certain question you can’t get off of your mind. Whatever it is, Lola the latte logo is here to lend a helping hand (that is, if she had any, of course). This week, she answers your Q about making more money than your peers.
Dear Lola: I just received a huge promotion which came with a significant raise, so I have a lot more spending money than I used to. Lately though, I’ve felt guilty about being able to afford a better lifestyle than my friends. I feel like I need to hide my big purchases from them, and I feel like I can’t invite them to the trips I want to go on because I know a few are still paying their student loans. Should I walk on eggshells with my friends, or should I just live my life?
-Reader from Los Angeles, California 
You got a promotion and a raise, you should be SO proud of yourself. The last emotion you should be feeling is guilt, and I promise that if your friends really are your friends, they won’t want you to feel that way either.  If you still feel bad about making more than your inner circle, then maybe they’re giving you signals that it bothers them. If that’s the case, then have an honest sit-down with them and talk about it. Sometimes it can be hard to see someone so close to you succeeding when you yourself are not, but as long as you aren’t purposely flashing your bigger paycheck around, you have nothing to feel bad about.
To answer your specific questions, don’t feel like you should hide your big purchases. Since you’re presumably not rubbing your flashy items in everyone’s faces, it shouldn’t be an issue. If one of your peers asks about an expensive purchase, however, you can say something like, “I actually just got a promotion at work, so I’ve been treating myself,” which is totally understandable, and normal! As far as not inviting friends to trips you want to go to, if you know for sure a last-minute expensive vacation is completely out of their price range, obviously you shouldn’t be extending that invitation (since it could make your friend feel like they have to lie, or feel bad about saying they can’t afford it). However, you could either invite someone you’re close to who is in a similar financial situation as you, or ask your friends well in advance (at least 6 months before the trip) if they would like to go on a particular vacation, making sure to be completely upfront about the total cost. That way, you can give your inner circle plenty of time to save up, or to let you know that it’s not in their budget right now.
Bottom line: Yes, you should just live your life (as long as you’re being reasonably considerate of those around you, just like you normally would)! You worked hard, and you deserve to enjoy your success!