I still remember my 20th birthday, three and a half years ago. It was exciting and thrilling—being 20 meant no longer being in your teens and, let’s be real, it just sounded so much more sophisticated than 19. Before turning 20, I wanted to get older, and now I dread each new birthday, knowing that even more responsibility awaits with each new year. My early twenties have probably been my best so far, with lots of high highs and low lows. Your twenties are confusing and exciting, filled with heartbreak and lessons but also filled with strong friendships and long memorable nights. I’ve hit a point where I feel in a rut and I know I’m not the only one who feels this way. So, it brings me to ask myself, why are your twenties so emotionally confusing and draining? Or, even further, how do you navigate such a complicated time?
I could give you a list of reasons why people struggle in their twenties. I fully believe in the “quarter-life crisis.” It’s inevitable. You hit a point in your career or relationship, or any other area of your life where you wonder “what am I doing?” And then, even further, “what am I going to do next?” It continues in a series of asking yourself question after question about what your next step in each area of your life should be. Where do I want to take my career next? Is the person I’m currently dating going to be the last? Is there a reason I’m struggling to get over an ex or another situation after a sufficient amount of time? Am I always going to feel like it’s hard to make ends meet financially? It’s a thundercloud made up of the unknown.
The solution to this avalanche of self-doubt and endless stream of questions? I think the best way to take it all in is day by day. Instead of asking yourself about the next step in your career, ask yourself, do I really LOVE what I’m doing right now? Can I see myself doing this exact job 5 years from now? Start there, like any good story—right at the beginning. If you’re having doubts about a relationship, write down the top 10 most important qualities you want in somebody you share your life with. Does that person match most of those? Because from what I hear, your life partner will hit pretty close to all the things you dreamed you’d find in someone else. Maybe they aren’t absolutely perfect, but I have reason to believe they will be pretty damn close. 
There’s no quick fix to navigating this confusing time. I’m here to tell you that firsthand. But here are some of the rules I live by—they ground me when I’m feeling lost, like an anchor: Consistently work out, show up to work early and stay late, make your bed every day, take deep breaths, and go out with your friends as much as you can. Because one day you won’t have time to do all of those things as much as you’d like. There will be a time where it won’t be so easy to be selfish. When you feel overwhelmed, do a yoga class to catch your breath, and when you’re filled with anxiety, do a spin class so loud you have no choice but to block out all of your thoughts. Call your family and friends every day, and always have a plan to look forward to—whether that be a Saturday brunch or a trip to Asia. Cling to the things that excite you….and hold on for the ride.