Welcome to Role Call! In honor of Women’s History Month, Newsette staffers are spotlighting female figures who’ve had a personal impact on our lives. Check back every Thursday to see our role model of the week. (And take this as a sign to call yours and say “ILY.”)

Hi Newsetters! I’m Chloe Trout, the Editorial Intern around here. I want to introduce you all to Krista Westfall. She’s a bada*s mama, an amazing friend—oh, and did I mention she’s my older sister? As one of the women who raised me, I’ve always looked up to her as an example of treating people with kindness (sorry, Harry, my sis did it first), and as the type of mother I hope to be one day.

Here, my sista recalls the times when she really started feeling like a mom, explains the best and hardest parts of dealing with little humans, and shares advice for our readers with kids (and for those who are good without ‘em).

When was the first time you really felt like a mother?
There are different levels of motherhood, just like there are different stages of love. I first felt motherly when I held you, my youngest sister. The second time was with Micah, my adopted son. That’s when I began to learn more about sacrificial love. The third was when I was pregnant with my daughter Grace and I realized my body was not my own.

What has been the best and hardest part about motherhood so far?
I love the cuddling. There’s nothing better than having both my kids in my arms and just listening to them talk about whatever they’re into. It’s an honor and a privilege to shape your own little people by listening to and loving them really well. When they were homeschooled for a bit, it was really nice because I got so much more time with them. So I think the hardest thing has been letting them go back to school and sharing them with the world. (Even though they’re meant to be shared!)

Are there any pressures you’re facing right now because you’re a mom?
I feel pressure to discipline harshly because of judgment from others, especially in public. I get a lot of glares because my son is on the spectrum but “looks” normal, so people don’t understand his sensory issues or why he’s having a meltdown. They just think, “You just don’t know how to parent your kid.” It’s hard enough being a parent, so the last thing you need is other ones judging you. But there are a lot of people out there who have empathy and see what’s actually happening, and they often come in and help, are kind, or just say something sweet. If a kid’s having a rough day and you just happen to witness the worst moment, having grace with the parent and the child is helpful.

What do you think moms need to hear right now?
We sometimes think we’re not doing a good job. We compare ourselves with others on social media, whether we mean to or not. But we have to recognize that we’ve been given the children we’re supposed to have and you are the one for them. And if you need help, reach out for it. I wish somebody would have told me sooner, “It’s okay to hire a sitter so you can get out of the house for 2 hours.” You’ve got to give yourself some grace and ask for help when you need it, because it really does take a village. And if you don’t have a village yet, it’s important to know where to look in your community.

What is something you’re proud of when it comes to being a mom?
When I see my children being kind on the playground or reaching out to somebody that needs help. Especially if there’s a kid that looks lonely, is not doing well, or is getting picked on. Seeing your kid come around that person and say, “Hey, I’ll be your friend,” is just beautiful.

Do you think that was something that was instilled in us by our parents?
Definitely. Mom and Dad were both teachers, and teachers have a way of seeing past a kid’s behavior and identifying what’s going on underneath. It’s always more than what we see on the surface.

What advice would you give to moms, soon-to-be moms, or women who don’t want to be moms?
No matter if we’re moms or not, no matter where we find ourselves in our walk of faith, sexuality, or career, no matter if we even have a career or are homemakers—whatever is supposed to divide us, it’s not important. There are high expectations set on women. Whether we put it on ourselves, put it on each other, or whether it’s been put on by the world. But we decide what happens next. So let’s run together and champion each other’s dreams, because we need to become what we’re trying to create. If we can just see each other, respect each other, and lift each other up, there’s nothing we can’t do.