Let’s talk about surrogacy, 👶. If you’ve ever wondered about the details of the arrangement, the costs, and how it all works, we finally got the answers thanks to Carly Vollero (she/her), general counsel of surrogacy platform Nodal and Brianna Buck (she/her), Nodal’s head of community. Aside from working at Nodal, Carly is also a former intended parent (more on that below) who’s grown her family through surrogacy while Brianna was a surrogate. Translation: They’re pretty much experts on the topic. So, let’s hear what they have to say.

How exactly does surrogacy work?
BRIANNA: Surrogacy is a form of third-party reproduction in which a person consents to carry a pregnancy for people who intend to be parents—called intended parents—with the understanding that custody of the child belongs to the intended parent(s). This is usually done through a legal agreement. Put simply: Surrogacy is when you carry a baby for someone else, and upon birth, parental rights are assigned to the intended parent(s).
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BRIANNA + CARLY: There are two main types of surrogacy—traditional and gestational (the latter of which is what we work with at Nodal). Traditional surrogacy ‍occurs when a carrier provides their egg and has a genetic connection to the child. This type of surrogacy is less commonly used today, as it’s much more legally complex than gestational surrogacy. Gestational surrogacy is a type of surrogacy that occurs when a surrogate carries a baby created from the intended parent(s) sperm and egg or a donor embryo. With gestational surrogacy, there’s no biological relationship between the carrier and the baby, and parental rights are assigned to the intended parent(s) either before or immediately after the baby’s birth.
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Surrogacy is an option for those who are: single fathers by choice, same-sex male couples, women who are unable to get pregnant (ex: infertility, a biological inability to conceive, or pre-existing health conditions that could be exacerbated by pregnancy), and women who opt not to carry a pregnancy.

How much does it usually cost? Can insurance cover it?
CARLY: Surrogacy costs between $100k to $200k unless a neighbor or friend carries in an uncompensated way (again, not the type of surrogacy Nodal works with). Insurance cannot cover it but employers often have benefit programs administered through companies like Maven Clinic.

What are some reasons women become surrogates?
BRIANNA: Most individuals want to become surrogates because they’ve known someone who has struggled with infertility. Most women had uncomplicated pregnancies and deliveries, and felt that although their family was complete, they could go through another pregnancy. They felt called to help build families. The financial compensation for surrogacy is well deserved, and people spend it on various things. Still, the main driver for most surrogates is an altruistic desire to watch a family grow, to experience the moment when the intended parents get to hold their baby for the first time.

How much can one make from being a surrogate?
BRIANNA: The compensation range varies, but typical base compensation is between $35k and $55k for a first-time surrogate. Things that would increase base compensation might be where you live, if you are an experienced surrogate, having surrogacy-friendly insurance, or choosing an independent journey vs. working with an agency.

What should you know if considering surrogacy?
BRIANNA: Before jumping into a surrogacy journey, you need to research! Join Facebook groups, attend surrogacy information sessions, and speak with previous surrogates. Surrogacy is a complicated process with many implications outside of being pregnant that must be considered and prepared for. I always encourage people to empower themselves with as much knowledge as possible so that if they decide to proceed with surrogacy, they understand their options and what is best for them.

Is there anything else you’d like to share?
BRIANNA + CARLY: Two phrases we still hear a lot? “Surrogate mother” and “using” a surrogate. (Both make us cringe.) For starters, a gestational carrier is not a surrogate mother because they don’t share genetic material with the baby they carry and they aren’t the mother (or parent) to the baby they’re carrying—that role is for intended parents!

We work daily to remind people that intended parents do not “use” surrogates—as in, “we used a surrogate to have our baby.” Instead, intended parents work with surrogates. Surrogates should always be considered partners to intended parents as both parties contribute to and work diligently throughout the surrogacy journey. Also, any surrogate will tell you: Stop asking if it’s hard to “give up your baby?” As Brianna reminds people frequently, “No, it wasn’t hard because the baby she carried wasn’t hers to begin with!”