Kristen + Erika
Hosts of Dinky
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Why I'm...
Ahhh, this is the DINK life. Dual income, no kids, and maybe a pet or two thrown in there. It’s the lifestyle I currently live with my husband Josh and our dog Mac, and it’s also the topic of the podcast Dinky. The hosts (and college besties) Kristen (she/her) and Erika (she/they) launched the popular podcast after many, many text threads discussing the pros and cons of being in their early 30s without kids—something neither of them anticipated when they were young. “One major thing that sets us apart from other childfree podcasts is that we both grew up wanting kids,” Erika says. “I chose a childfree lifestyle while working in the foster care system and Kristen made the big decision while digging into the research at the beginning of Dinky. We like to say that we literally thought our way out of having children.”
For those of you who want children someday (like moi), already have children, or are about to pop out a child soon, don’t let the misconceptions about the DINK life turn you away from listening in. “A common misconception is that childfree people hate kids,” Kristen shares. “That’s simply not true—at least, not as a blanket statement. Parenting is hard. Period. We believe that society needs to pump the brakes a bit in the way we pressure people to have kids as a status symbol or a marker of adulthood. It would be beautiful if people could start at neutral, and be encouraged to weigh the pros and cons of parenthood before determining if the choice is right for them—rather than the expected path.” Everyone is welcome, ok?
After all, the space created by these two is rooted in research and data, but still infused with that silly, unhinged tone that comes out after you kick back a couple glasses of wine with your BFF. And just like convos with your BFF, no topic is off-limits with Dinky. “We’ve had a lot of interesting conversations about antinatalism, or the personal philosophy that adopting or fostering children—as well as finding new, imaginative ways to rally around and support families—may be more ethical than procreation,” Kristen says. “We were super scared to talk about it, because it can be polarizing and divisive, but it’s been one of our best received topics. It’s worth recognizing, however, that since Roe was overturned and access to birth control is being threatened—many women are facing the reality of forced birth policies. While it’s a luxury and a privilege to choose to opt out of motherhood, it simply isn’t an option for some women—and we’re sensitive and empathetic about that truth.”
As for other topics discussed, Erika says: “We also love to talk about the impacts of capitalism, the lack of social support structures in the U.S., and the impact climate change is having on family planning and future generations. But hey… we promise we’re a fun podcast! As veterans of the entertainment industry, we love celebrity gossip, reality TV, and pop culture—so we weave those topics into most episodes. Pedro Pascal comes up a lot.” Amen to that.
Now, I plan on having kids one day. (Whether that’s biologically, through adoption, or otherwise—you’ll have to wait and see!) But just like the hosts revealed that the podcast was created after going over the pros/cons of a life without children, I’d be lying if I said I haven’t made my own list before, too. “Honestly, there are mostly pros to being childfree,” Erika says. “The big pros are more money. Ex: The annual cost of raising a child is well over $30k per year in many places in the country. There’s the freedom to do what you want, when you want, and our personal favorite: sleep. We have the luxury and privilege to pursue hobbies, travel, invest in our passions, form meaningful relationships, and build community. We also have more time to advocate for things that matter to us. We refer to these experiences as ‘dinking ourselves’—in other words, the luxuries we can pursue because we don’t have kids.” As for the cons, Kristen says they’re mostly social-related. “It can be difficult to make childfree friends, to navigate judgment or disappointment from friends and family, and combat stereotypes from internet trolls online,” she says. “Our culture does a great job making you feel like you’re missing out if you don’t experience parenthood. In general, it’s intimidating to navigate a childfree life without many outspoken role models in a society that perpetuates parenthood as the most fulfilling and meaningful role one can pursue.” Phew, ain’t that the harsh truth? It’s also why podcasts like this one are much needed in the world today. Because whether you’re on the fence about kids, childfree by choice, or childless by circumstance, they offer something for everyone.
So, what else can you expect from this dynamic duo and future episodes? “We’re really interested in diving deeper into the topic of regretful parents (which was our most-listened to episode this season), surrogacy and the commodification of pregnancy, how AI might impact family planning in the future, and beyond,” Erika shares. “We’ve got a huge list of dream guests, too. Dolly Parton, if you’re reading this, we’d love to chat with you!”
Omg, if Dolly Parton is reading this, I’d love to talk with you, too.
DINK ya later,
Chloe Trout, associate editor