Freeze! Your eggs… That’s what multi-hyphenate filmmaker Leah McKendrick (she/her) did. And then she made a movie about it. And we’re honestly really glad because this subject has been hush hush for way too long.

We talked to her about the film (out now!), the process of freezing her eggs, and what she wished she knew before undergoing the procedure.

Hi Leah! Can you share a bit about your film background?
I started as an indie filmmaker, making shorts and web series with my friends like I did in college. Then in 2017, I wrote/produced/acted in my first feature (M.F.A.) which was a rape revenge film. It gave me a career as a screenwriter which is what I’ve been doing a lot of the past few years until I decided I wanted to climb into the driver’s seat. On Scrambled I wrote, directed, and starred.

What is Scrambled about?
It was inspired by the real experience of freezing my eggs. It’s about the loneliness I felt, the feelings of failure, of broken dreams. I am often plagued by feelings of failure because I was born with astronomical Hollywood dreams.

What led you to decide to freeze your eggs?
I was 34 and it had been burned in my brain that at 35 I would be rendered obsolete. I didn’t subscribe to that notion intellectually, but emotionally that ticking clock was ever-present.

What’s something you wish you knew before you started the process? What advice can you offer to others who are making this decision for themselves?
I wish I knew that the needles were the easiest part. The part I struggled most with was the loneliness. My advice is: Tell your village. Do not isolate yourself. Do not hole up. Reach out to the people in your life that you trust—your best friends and mom and sister, whatever—and say, “I’m headed into this process and I don’t know how it’s going to hit me so can you just be on-call a little bit the next couple weeks in case I need to cry to you or need you to watch 90 Day Fiancé with me?” Surround yourself with love. You deserve that.

What was the hardest and the most rewarding part of making the choice to freeze your eggs?
The hardest part was feeling that I deserved the punishment on my body. The rewarding part was reframing it as an act of self-love and the pride that came with realizing that I was able to provide for myself; I was able to take care of myself the way a partner would.

Something beautiful happens when you feel like you have time. You stop feeling like you need to force relationships to be in alignment. You are freer to be authentically yourself. What’s more epic than that?

After going through the experience of freezing your eggs, why did you decide to make a movie about it?
Because a movie about it didn’t exist! I wanted an anthem for all the single girls taking their futures into their own hands. I hope I made that. If nothing else, I made a movie for my 34-year-old self, who is bloated on the couch in her apartment feeling like a loser.

What are your hopes for the film’s reception?
I hope that it illuminates a bit of the fertility struggle—the struggle of womanhood. I hope it inspires some empathy for single women in their 30s, or any age. I hope that by walking a mile in Nellie’s shoes you are less likely to pressure your friends/neighbors/cousins/sisters/whoever to couple up and procreate. We’ve got sh*t to do!

Is there anything else you’d like to share?
I hope you enjoy my labor of love. If you do, please tell your friends! Word of mouth makes all the difference.