“If I can do it, anybody can do it.”

Those are the words of Jen Sincero (she / her), a #1 New York Times bestselling author, motivational speaker, and success coach. Known for her beloved Badass series—including You Are a Badass, You Are a Badass at Making Money, You Are a Badass Every Day, and Badass Habits—Jen has spent years helping people achieve their maximum potential in all areas of life.

Here, the New Yorker describes the women who’ve contributed to her success, how her little yellow book started a movement, and why habit formation depends on your thoughts more than your actions.

Tell us about a woman who’s made a big difference in your life or career.
Hiring my life coach, Gina DeVee, was one of the best things I ever did. She held my feet to the fire and made me do lots of scary things! And right now, I’m mastermind partners with my friend Katharine Dever, who is an intuitive coach, so she’s really great to check in with every week. And, of course, my incredible friends, my mom, Dolly Parton… [laughing]. I have so many women in my life who just kick a*s.

Why do you think You Are A Badass was such a game-changer?
I wasn’t really saying anything that new or revolutionary, I was just the first one to do it in that voice. [But its success] was by word of mouth—we didn’t hit the New York Times bestseller list for 3 years!

Since then, you’ve written 3 more books. How do you choose what to write about next?
Writing You Are a Badass at Making Money after You Are a Badass was a total no-brainer, because my whole self-help journey started around my severe lack of money. The fact that I figured out how to make it was a miracle, so I was really excited to share that information with people. You Are a Badass Every Day made sense because I like to yell about going to the spiritual gym, and wanted to write a book that would keep you motivated [to do so]. By then, I’d given people the tools for making big life shifts, so teaching them how to put it into habit form with Badass Habits felt very organic.

In Badass Habits, you mention that forming habits is more about who you’re being and what you’re doing. Could you elaborate?
One of the main reasons people fail at sticking to their habits is they only focus on the actions they’re taking, but don’t do any mindset work around it. If you’re biking up a hill and decide to either give up or keep going, your body will feel the same way, so it isn’t about the action, it’s about the thoughts. When I say forming a habit is about who you’re being, it’s not only about paying attention to your thoughts, but also identifying as a person who embodies this habit. For example, it was only when I identified as someone who was healthy and took care of her body that I was able to quit smoking. It was really subtle, but had enormous effects.

You also talk a lot about how setting boundaries is key to forming new habits. How so?
Whenever you change anything about your life, you’re shifting all the relationships around you. You have to be really clear about your boundaries because you’re going to need to take time away from friendships and family. People get blindsided by their bad boundaries, so if you’re aware of them, you really start setting yourself up for success.

What made you realize this?
Honestly, turning 50 [laughing]. When I hit 50, “no” became my favorite word. My father said the funniest thing. He was like, “I don’t know if you get older and wiser, or older and more tired.” I’m like, “I just don’t have the energy for the damn drama anymore!”

Speaking of drama, imposter syndrome is one of the ways we start it in our own lives. What’s the first step towards overcoming it?
Awareness. All of a sudden, you’re like, “Wait a second, I’ve been buying into this truth which is not a truth.” So bust yourself! When we’re babies, we don’t know that we shouldn’t weigh a certain amount or that our eyes are too close together, and then culture, our parents, and the media drill these “truths” into our heads, and we don’t ever question them! Next thing we know, we’re 95 and living a crappy life. So once you become aware of your false beliefs, you can question them and start rewriting the story.