Some couples like watching movies, others enjoy strolls down 5th avenue, but nothing excites me and my boyfriend more than a restaurant reservation. Sean’s mention of a new restaurant he wants us to visit is basically his version of “I love you,” and we go out to eat–without fail– at least three times every weekend (meals are where the majority of our disposable incomes end up). So why do we love to eat out so much? Simple: Takeout just isn’t an option for Sean, meaning he ends up cooking for himself every meal (which can be a bit exhausting with 18-hour lawyer workdays). Enjoying a meal out means eating something other than grilled chicken and sweet potato (his staples), which makes me, and my inner foodie, very happy.  By now you may be wondering why he doesn’t partake in Postmates or Seamless sessions, as I did when we first met. And to answer that question, we need to go back to our first date.
On September 25, 2016, Sean took me to dinner for our first date at Del Friscos in Boston, where we were both studying (him for law school, me as an undergrad). I wondered why we were eating at such a nice steakhouse, but decided that he was trying to impress me (this was only half true). As soon as we arrived, the waiter greeted us to ask for our drink orders, but then lingered after we had placed them. “Oh and sir,” he said quietly. “We received the note from the hostess.” I remember feeling a little sick. Is someone going to come out with a cake? I thought. Confused, I looked at my soon-to-be boyfriend, who explained, “I have allergies.”

A few weeks into our relationship, I learned that he had called ahead to let the restaurant know about his dietary restrictions, because he apparently thought that listing them off would deter me in some way. But honestly, I didn’t even think twice about it in the moment. Little did I know, these dietary restrictions were a huge part of his life. About a month after our first date, I decided to surprise him with cupcakes. Back at Del Friscos, he had explained to me that he was allergic to gluten, dairy, nuts, and soy, so I picked out a few from the gluten-free section. With a wide grin on my face, I showed up at his apartment early for our dinner reservation, and exclaimed, “I found a dessert you can eat!”
He uncomfortably looked at the box, and then at me. “I’m sorry, but I can’t eat those,” he uttered apologetically. “But why?!” I said, defeated. See, this had been about the fifth time I had “found something he could eat.” His answer made sense: most cupcake bakeries, including the one I had visited, can’t guarantee that there isn’t cross contamination. Therefore, the chances of him getting sick outweigh the delight of a yummy pastry. Also, as if I wasn’t clueless enough, the cupcakes were coconut-flavored, which apparently is a nut. Go figure.


As the following months went by, and the nice dinners continued (sadly, most fast casual restaurants either don’t take food restrictions seriously or can’t guarantee food to be gluten, nut, and dairy-free), I tried with no avail to find sweet stuff on the menu that he could order. Every dessert was either littered with gluten or nuts, or wasn’t worth trying to modify. I also got used to the same joke he would make every time he listed off his allergies: “Just bring me a napkin with salt.” It truly made me sad to eat what used to be his favorite sweets in front of him (his gluten intolerance came suddenly in college, which is common for Celiac Disease), but he enjoyed seeing me eat them and joked that he was living through me. But, I stayed determined to find something to satisfy his sweet tooth that wouldn’t cause his stomach extreme pain (or even a trip to the hospital).
Almost exactly one year ago–during my first CVS visit in my new home of NYC–I called him up. “Sean!” I said so loudly that half of the aisle looked back at me. “I found a dessert you can eat!” And guess what… I was finally right.
From that day on, I pack YumEarth candies with me during every dinner or drinks outing, so that we can finally enjoy a sweet treat together. It truly is the highlight of our night, and we smile at each other knowingly every time we finish a packet. Sean has helped me see the world differently in a lot of ways, but one of the most important has been how he has inadvertently influenced my relationship with food. He has shown me that you don’t have to sacrifice taste when eating gluten-free–and that occasionally eating GF can actually make you feel better throughout the day. Most of your favorite dishes are most likely naturally gluten-free, or if not, easy ingredient swaps can be made.
May is Celiac Awareness month, so why not try some recipes or order off the GF menu? And if you do decide to dine out this weekend and try a gluten-free plate, Sean and I will most likely see you there.