Everyone has at least one question inside of them, but sometimes the road to the answer can be a bumpy one. Maybe it’s highly personal or something you’re afraid to say out loud, or just a certain question you can’t get off of your mind. Whatever it is, Lola the latte logo is here to lend a helping hand (that is, if she had any, of course). This week, she answers your questions about negative friendships and landing your dream life.

Dear Lola,

How do I cut negative people out of my life, especially friends who I’ve had for a long time?

-Reader from Atlanta, Georgia 

Saying goodbye to a friend is never easy, but if a person is bringing negativity into your life, are they really a friend? First, I want you to imagine your life without that person. Are you happier? Less stressed out?

If the answer is yes, then you know what you need to do, and it will be a lot easier when you put your own personal happiness ahead of your fear of losing a friend. Just disconnect from the friendship, and if they reach out, be honest about why you’re being distant.

If the answer is no, then maybe it’s time to talk to that person to tell them how their attitude is affecting you. There’s always the possibility that they don’t even realize what they’re doing to you and the friendship. Or, they know exactly what they’re doing, in which case goodbye.

Dear Lola,

I am 24, and I read constantly about powerful women in their prime, advocating for change and enjoying a lifestyle that is beyond my means at this present time. I am trying to find as many resources possible to achieve my dreams of one day being published, working with motivated/kind/successful groups of people, finding my expertise, having my heart filled with passion, and kicking out the 8-6 schedule that does not allow for growth in terms of cerebral and spiritual expansion, wealth, creative space, etc. Where do I start? How can I get from small town not-for-profit life to NY Times articles, Newsette Pillow Talk, Ted Talks, and more?

-Reader from Stony Brook, New York

The road to prosperity is different for everyone, but the first step in every success story is simply starting. In your case, if you want to be a writer and can’t move to NYC quite yet, then spend at least an hour every day pitching contributor article ideas to publications or perfecting your writing style. That way, each day you are getting one step closer to the life you want to live. Who knows, maybe you’ll start writing for a great publication on a freelance basis and then get hired full time. At the very least, you’ll get feedback from editors and a lot of useful experience. Every single woman that you read about started with a dream, and took steps to make it a reality. Now it’s your chance to do the same! Work hard, believe in yourself, and the rest will fall into place. 

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