Alex Aster is a children’s books and thrillers author, as well as the managing editor of The Newsette. And, as a part of our new Ask Alex series, she tackles some of our readers’ most pressing questions, in an effort to bring a new perspective to the table. Today, Alex answers a question about something we can all relate to–a social media addiction.

Q: Dear Alex, my boyfriend is addicted to his phone. I mean, he is literally on it over half of the time we spend together. During dinner, before bed. It’s gotten so bad that I can’t sleep, because of the light being shined in my face, well past midnight! I’ve told him to stop, but he says he “can’t help” checking Instagram, and those news stories on Snapchat. How do I get him to pay less attention to his screen and more focus on me?

A: Nowadays, a phone addiction is not just a throwaway phrase, but somewhat of an epidemic. After all, is it healthy to spend hours upon hours staring at a phone? Probably not. It can lead to increased anxiety and even vision problems! Still, though we all know the consequences, most of us find it hard to peel ourselves away from our screens. Which is why you need to stage a mini-intervention for your boyfriend.

Habit-breaking requires tweaking routines. As soon as your boyfriend gets home (assuming you live together), have him put his phone in a drawer, next to yours. Start off small, by saying that he only has to leave his phone there for an hour (the smaller the ask, the more likely he’ll agree to doing it). If he’s hesitant, you can frame it as, “Let’s see if you can even handle being away from your phone for an hour.” That way, he’s responding to a challenge. If he has that much trouble not having his phone for sixty minutes, that will be a way for him to realize he has an over-dependance on his phone.

If this approach is working, each day, make the no-phone period a little longer, working up to “no phones before dinner.” Then–and this is a big one–you ultimately want to have him agree to the larger rule of “no phones in the bedroom.” He might offer the excuse of needing his device as an alarm (valid), so that’s when you buy him an inexpensive alarm online. Having your phones sleep in another room eliminates the issue of scrolling for far too long when you’re supposed to be getting some shut-eye, and also ensures that when he wakes up, the first thing he sees isn’t his screen.

Check in with him after a few weeks of trying these new habits, and ask him if he thinks that limiting his phone time has led to an increase in his well-being, alertness, or even the state of your relationship. If he agrees that he has seen a positive change, that will be a good thing to remind him of if he starts ramping up his phone usage again.