Alex Aster is the managing editor of The Newsette, children’s book series author, and writer behind Aster Way. As a part of our “Ask Alex” series, she tackles some of our readers’ most pressing questions, in an effort to bring a new perspective to the table. Today, Alex answers a question about infidelity.
Dear Alex: The thing most of us fear immensely happened to me. My boyfriend started acting weird, being more secretive about his phone, and started changing his routines. I got suspicious, and looked at his phone one night when he was sleeping, and–you guessed it–he was cheating. When I confronted him (in the middle of the night, I couldn’t wait) he admitted everything, said he loved me, and promised never to stray again. That was two months ago. Even though now he lets me see his phone whenever I want, and has gone back to his normal self, I don’t think I’ll ever get over his betrayal. But I love him. What should I do?
A: End things. It would be one thing if you were one of those people who could truly forgive and forget, but you’re (very understandably) still hurt about the situation. You called it “a betrayal” which tells me how seriously you took his indiscretion (again, understandable). No matter how much you love him, you don’t want to live a life wondering if every time he says he’s working late he’s with someone else–and going through his phone every night is going to get old really quickly. It might seem hard–if not almost impossible–to break up with someone you love, so please make a habit of telling yourself, “I deserve drama-free love, and a partner who won’t make me doubt myself or our relationship.”
I’m sorry this happened to you–and good luck!