If you’re happy and you know it, tell us how. We have a ton of goals for 2022, but they’re all part of our larger mission to feel fulfilled. And while we know a scoop of cookies ‘n’ cream can give us bliss for a few minutes, we want our good time to last a long time—like 60 more years. That’s why we called Gretchen Rubin (she / her), a “street scientist,” author, and podcaster who studies the building blocks of a meaningful life. (She also just dropped the Happier app to help us practice what she preaches.)

Here, the Kansas City native explains her tips for happier days, how to find joy in the little things, and why there’s no “right way” when it comes to inner peace.

When did you start studying happiness?
It was a very ordinary moment. I was stuck on the city bus and had one of those opportunities for reflection. I thought, “What do I want from life? I want to be happy.” But I realized I didn’t spend any time thinking about whether I was happy or if it’s possible to make yourself happier. So I ran to the library and got a giant stack of books to start researching. There were so many things I wanted to try and it just kept getting bigger. Finally, I thought, “I should write a book about this.”

How did you apply that research to your own life?
It’s led me into habit formation, because so often we know what would make us happier, but we just can’t stick to it. So there are a lot of habits I do! I’m a sleep zealot, so I make sure I get enough rest. I also have a great practice that I do with my parents and my sister. We have this thing called Update where every 5-7 days, we send each other an email [about] the most boring minutia of our days, because you feel much more connected with people when you know about the little things they do. That’s really helped keep those relationships strong.

True or false: Living a happy life means being happy all the time.
Absolutely not! Negative emotions have a very important role to play in a happy life. Things like anger, righteous indignation, guilt, and boredom are important signals that something needs to be fixed. Related to that, sometimes people think it’s selfish to seek a happier life in a world full of suffering and injustice. But research shows that happier people are more interested in the problems of the world. They’re more likely to vote, volunteer their time, or give money.

How do you check in with your happiness level?
There are people who approach it by, “I’m going to ask multiple times throughout the day, ‘How are you feeling?’” The minute I start thinking “How happy am I?” on the 1-10 scale, my brain melts. [Laughing.] But I do think, “Do I feel energetic? Am I looking forward to something?” I focus on energy and enthusiasm, which are more concrete than happiness.

How so?
Sometimes things that make us happy, generally don’t make us happy in the moment. Asking yourself, “Am I happy right now?” you might say, “Well, going to visit my sick parent in the hospital doesn’t make me happy,” yet it is part of a happy life.

So how do we get pumped for our everyday life?
We can have more anticipation for something ordinary we really enjoy. It’s easy to take your daily cup of coffee for granted, and I’m not a person who’s like, “Ooh, I’m going to taste every sip.” But many people treat things like a drag, like, “Ugh, I could stay up late and binge Succession if I didn’t have to go to bed,” instead of, “I get to sleep and know I’m going to wake up refreshed. What a delight!” By reframing things, we can get more pleasure from them.

How has your new app helped your happiness journey?
For me, writing things down is really important, and I like doing something every single day. So something like Don’t Break the Chain [a streak tracker for goals] is satisfying because I like that feeling of crossing off the list.

What’s the biggest misconception about being happy?
To think that there’s one right way. Somebody was just telling me that she dances for 20 minutes every night at midnight. Experts will tell you not to exercise right before bed, but why would I say she’s wrong? She’s doing what’s right for her.